Mother's Day Musings

So sorry procrastinators.  You waited too long.  No dinner reservations available on Mother's Day.  Take out? Barbecue?  Wait an hour in a crowded hallway for a burger at the bowling alley?  Ugh!

Our family motto now seems to be "simplify and celebrate."  Bumper sticker worthy?  Has kind of a nice ring to it, don't you think?  The clan over here loves to host.  My adult kids are really adept at hosting and toasting family and friends...and, yet, we all agree it's tiring. Event-ing (hmmm, liking that term) at mi casa is far from simple.  Lanie, my "bestie" from way back, always tells me, "You don't just serve.  You present!"  She nailed it, it's true. "Presenting" is a type of diagnosis with symptoms, like driving all over town to find zebra print cocktail napkins.

Now I so adore the artistic elements involved in creating convivial space:  Buying and arranging flowers, setting the table with layers of decor, arranging the bar, purchasing, prepping, and styling the food.  It's a theatre moment for me.  As the appointed hour of event-ing draws near, I can almost hear the orchestra tuning their instruments.  The candles are lit.  The overture begins (doorbell ringing).  The curtain rises.  No kidding!

After co-owning an event planning company for over 16 years, and orchestrating every conceivable type of event from baby shower to burial, I do truly know what's important...and what isn't.  Is it the flair and panache of your personal style?  Nope!  Is it the Wow factor of your circular driveway, grand entrance, and winding staircase?  Uh, uh!  Your tablescape?  No way!  I do know better.  I just don't always do better.  True confession - hosting can be exhausting.

The truth is that creating a party that makes guests feel cozy, comfortable, important, and welcome is an art form.  Invisible, but palpable.  Putting in the time to manipulate the logistics pays off in making the memorable happen.  It just isn't a show-off-y thing that photographs like a coffee table book.   It's more a feel-good thing.

Are our parties judged by others?  Most assuredly so.  However, for me the self-evaluation is the worst.  Is it avoidable without a 12-step self-help program?  It certainly requires a change of thinking.  And, perhaps, a mantra, deep breathing, and a healthy dose of positive self-talk.  Maybe I'm a just work in progress.

So, as a family of serial event-ers, we decided to turn a corner and opt for simple and effortless on Mother's Day.  Was it hard?  Not even a little.  All of us (7 adults and 2 kids) went to a very local, very beautiful winery carrying brown bag sandwiches.  We brought chips and cookies to share, sat outside on picnic tables, and took turns buying bottles of chilled rose.  We talked.  We laughed.  The grandkids played.  We just enjoyed each other. No flowers.  No decor.  No food prep.  No fuss.  No judgment.  Easy.

If you're in the Los Gatos area, go visit Testarossa Winery.  You won't be disappointed.