Going Rogue for "Angst-giving"

Are you "trendy" or "traditional" for Thanksgiving?  As I daydream at my computer (um, actually, it's an yellow-lined notepad), I muse about Thanksgivings past and present.  What traditions have I lovingly (hopefully?) passed down to children and grandchildren?   Hmm. Green bean casserole?  Nope.  Twice-baked potatoes?  ix-nay.  Giblet gravy?  Uh, uh!  So what about you?  Trendy or traditional?  Are you game for going rogue on Thanksgiving?

The delicious warm fragrance of pie baking in the oven. A plump perfectly browned turkey proudly waiting on the carving board.  The table set, crystal sparkling.  Mini-pumpkins sprayed gold and resting on Fall leaves clustered down the center of the table.  A seating card at each place setting, with the names of every guest hand-lettered in a calligraphy style that would make John Hancock weep.  Perfectly dressed, coiffed, and a "behaved" bevy of children, anxiously waiting at the window for friends and family to arrive.  Are you getting the Norman Rockwell picture?  Is it our house?  Not now!  Not ever!

We spent many of our early married years going rogue for Thanksgiving (until, that is, our married children grew up and took over the planning baton).  A bazillion years ago (almost 48 - yikes!), my glamorous, well-heeled (and absolutely wonderful) in-laws were best friends with the owner of a swanky restaurant in Oakland, CA.  I mean, one of those old-school, intimate, dark-paneled hideaways, with red leather booths and a piano bar.  For real!

...and we were his special guests for Thanksgiving.  We arrived, sans gravy-stained outfits, whining kids, and over-shopped, over-prepped, and over-wrought adults.  We were greeted and handed an old-school cocktail.  Of course the kids were given Shirley Temples packed to the gills with maraschino cherries (before we knew the red dye wasn't exactly health food).  A holiday dinner in a restaurant.  Turkey with all the stylish trimmings.  Heaven.

What about having leftovers, our friends would ask.  The smell of cooking?  The homey, heartwarming ambiance of dinner in a home?  Well, we packed up the leftovers and enjoyed our own little family gathering.  It was our tradition, complete with a special movie and popcorn on our way to dinner.  We shook off the shame, raised eyebrows, and a stray judgmental remark or two.  Little did we know that we were light years ahead of our time, going restaurant rogue for Thanksgiving.

Now anything goes for a perfectly presented Thanksgiving "to go."  Wonderful coursed meals are prepared by every conceivable source.  From gourmet groceries, market halls, farmers markets, bakeries, meat companies, farm-to-table restaurants, and online purveyors.  You can order absolutely everything or just a few sides.  And you can even get a complete meal kit dinner sent right to your door.  The options (and opinions) are endless. No "shaming" in ordering!  You can platter like a pro.  Or dine in at a vast array of restaurants, now open and ready to take the "angst" out of "Angst-Giving."

So don't be afraid to go rogue.  Create your own holiday traditions.  How about a rousing game of Dysfunctional Family Bingo?  Jen Lewis at Buzzfeed has created Bingo cards ready and waiting for a free download.  Pass them out to individual guests or team up and play for prizes.

For the young'uns print out "Thanksgiving Would You Rather Questions for Kids."  A favorite of mine is by Rachel Lynette and can be found as a free download on her Teachers Pay Teachers store site (www.teacherspayteachers/FreeThanksgiving-Would-You-Rather-Questions-For-Kids-104707).  She asks questions like:  "Would you rather take a bath in gravy or wear mashed potatoes on your head?"  Kids love this.

And, if you are prep-free, you might want to borrow our favorite holiday idea:  Head to a movie.  Hold hands with someone you love.  Or share a big bag of popcorn with your bestie. Being grateful is the whole idea.  And not just when Black Friday sales begin!